Friends and Challenges

I discussed how friendship will be a vital part of this blog on my last post and I will also discuss the topic of friends and challenges this time around. We all have friends, and there will always be a time when we need to be there for them. And we hope that they would be there for us as well. But when do things become too much to handle? When do you give up? My answer is never, but that has been tested time and time again throughout my life. Here is a story about an old best friend of mine and what he went through a few years ago, and how I tried my best to help him.

There are many things in life that could be difficult to handle or understand. How we deal with these situations that are put in front of us will help us grow and possibly help us to realize things about ourselves that we may have never known. We often look at others with a predisposition towards them and not for any good reason, but because that’s how we act as human beings. But, in all honesty, we cannot tell everything about a person just by looking at them. Sure, that sounds cliché but it’s true and it can be seen everywhere. Some people face more hardships then others and some people react negatively to certain situations but that doesn’t make these people bad or good, it’s just a part of life. So, where am I going with all of this? Well, I have faced some difficult challenges in my life, some that I have overcome and others that I have still yet too, but I still have hope. The list could go on for an eternity but I will choose something important and close to my heart. About 6 years ago, a good friend of mine once had a very serious fight with his girlfriend and things escalated very quickly. In the heat of the moment, and without going into detail, he threatened to ‘kill’ her and her family on their house voicemail. He was then arrested and sent to a police precinct nearby. He spent the night in the empty cell with his parents across the hallway from his cell. Now, he was very shaken up by this and even though it wasn’t a very long time in the cell itself, he won’t soon forget about this. Her parents pressed charges against him and he had to attend court. His lawyer actually wanted him to plead insanity and he was nearly going to agree to this. He didn’t realize what that would entail for his future. I’ve known this kid since fourth grade though, and I know everything he said on their voicemail was just an absolutely horrible reaction to the end of a two year relationship with his first ever girlfriend in his life. That did not change the fact that he shouldn’t have done any of this in the first place. I honestly wish he would have talked to me beforehand about what he was going to do. Regardless, I wanted to be there for him. Eventually after a few appearances in court, which I attended with him, both parties reached a resolution. There was to be an Order of Protection, for 500 feet, out against him except during school and classes. This devastated him, however, being that he was still in love with her. This was the most difficult for him to overcome. So, here is where things got worse. He started experiencing suicidal thoughts. I was extremely worried of his health and well-being and he was one of my best friends at the time, so I couldn’t let him follow through with anything dangerous or in the worst-case scenario, fatal. So, I wasn’t sure of what to do at first, but I developed a plan. I decided that if I was around I could both, keep an eye on him, and keep him company while helping getting his mind off things. So, for a week I practically lived at his house to make sure that he was alright. I would also go on walks with him and go out to stores and places to keep him busy. It wasn’t easy because it wasn’t like hanging out with your best friend. It was making sure that he doesn’t try to hurt himself and that you need him to get better so that he can continue on with his life. This was very difficult for me at that age. I was still developing myself and I have never been in a situation like this. But thankfully things got better with time. It was slow, and gradual but it was still better. After spending a little over a week with him. He realized he still had people that cared about him, like myself, and that he had much to live for. To this day, I don’t think he doesn’t think about her but he’s alive and breathing and still has his future ahead of him, and that’s all I can ask for. Looking back there may have been some things I would have done differently to prevent all of this, but I am satisfied with how things turned out in the end. I also learned that when I look at someone, that just how they look may really not be how they fell. There is always more to a person and after a situation like this, I’m happy to help others in any way that I can. And not only did I overcome a difficult situation, I learned a valuable lesson on how to appreciate everything I have and on how to be the best friend I can be with everyone who cares about me enough to consider me one. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.